Friday, June 24, 2011

Testimony Bingo

With fast and testimony meeting ahead of us in a few weeks, I decided to share with you a creative little thing that I made to keep myself entertained through the first Sunday of the month. Sure, it's not your typical 'creative writing' activity, but just to make it up I'll put up a non-fiction piece by Saturday.

There are more than 24 (the typical amount of bingo cells) on this list, so there are some steps that you’re going to have to take. You’re going to get a 5x5 Bingo grid, and number the grid with and number between 1- 48, leaving the center spot open as your bonus square. Be sure to mix up the order of your numbers or plan a strategy with your number choices so that you can win against your family/friends/roommates/bishopric.

0. The Real Thing- You can use this one whenever you hear a real testimony with the spirit witnessing of the truth. It can take the spot of any square and can be used as many times as you want each testimony meeting.
1. False Start- two people get up to share their testimonies at the same time.
2. Quick Breath- A moment of silence where no one is moving, getting up to share their testimony, and everyone is just sitting, anywhere between 15-60 seconds.
3. Seventh Inning Stretch­- A moment of silence that lasts over a minute.
4. Travel Log- The person giving their testimony talks about a trip that they took.
5. Extended Metaphor- One testimony bearer makes an analogy or a metaphor, and then a second testimony bearer uses that metaphor.
6. Almost Doctrine- The testimony bearer says something that isn’t true doctrine, but it isn’t completely wrong.
7. False Doctrine- The testimony bearer says something that is completely wrong compared to the doctrines of the church.
8. All The Cool Kids Are Doing It- The bearer starts their testimony saying that the only reason they went up was because they made a deal with someone else that if they went up they would go too.
9. Shed a Tear- The bearer sheds a tear.
10. Sob Story- The bearer is unable to talk because they are crying so much.
11. You Pansies!- The bearer is able to get more than one person in the ward to cry.
12. Start With a Joke- The bearer starts out with a good joke.
13. Corny Joke- The bearer says a corny joke.
14. Stand up Comedy- The bearer says more jokes and laughs more than being spiritual.
15. What?- The bearer says or does something that makes you ask yourself, “What?”
16. TMI- The bearer shares information over the pulpit that should only be shared with close friends, certified professionals, or priesthood leaders.
17. Longest Blink Ever- A person in the audience falls asleep.
18. Nap Time- More than one person in the audience falls asleep.
19. Knocking Them Out- A person on the stand falls asleep.
20. Taking Out The Giants- A member of the bishopric falls asleep.
21. Double Kill!- Two members of the bishopric fall asleep.
22. Batting 1,000­- The entire bishopric is asleep at the same time.
23. Applying The Scriptures- The bearer talks about the scriptures applied to their own life.
24. Dramatic Reading- The bearer dramatically reads and/or quotes a hymn from the hymn book.
25. Everything I Needed to Learn, I Learned in Sunbeams- The bearer cites a children’s hymn.
26. The Word- The bearer brings up their scriptures with them and reads one verse from the scriptures.
27. Story Time- The bearer brings up their scriptures and reads an entire story from the scriptures.
28. Echo- The bearer says whatever their parent whispers in their ear.
29. Notes- The bearer brings notes with them up to the pulpit and reads from the paper.
30. Elder C.S. Lewis- The bearer quotes, cites, or references C.S. Lewis.
31. Spirit in Dirty Diapers- The bearer finds some weird spiritual reference to some mundane life event.
32. Prayer Mixup- The testimony seems more like a prayer than a testimony, look for things like being thankful for lots of things, or ending “in the name of thy son”.
33. Disclaimer- The bearer starts with a testimony about either the simplicity of their testimony, their language skills, or starting with any apology.
34. Time Stamped- The bearer tells you how long it’s been since they were last up.
35. What’s Your Tribe?- The bearer shares information about their patriartical blessing.
36. Cinema Secrets- The bearer makes a spiritual connection to a movie, because Star Wars is totally related to the Book of Mormon.
37. That’s It?- The testimony meeting ends early.
38. Mormon Standard Time- The testimony meeting runs 5 minutes over.
39. Stop Standing Up- A person walks up to the stand, after the time the meeting should be done.
40. Shorter Sunday School- 15 minutes over the time limit.
41. Official Decree- The person conducting tells people to stop getting up.
42. 100 Yard Dash- A parent chases a child up to the pulpit.
43. Marathon- A kid in the cultural hall runs around for at least one complete testimony
44. Spelunker- A kid crawls under a pew into a different row.
45. I Want to be 3 Years Old- A kid is fed cereal.
46. Life Sucks- The bearer talks about the hard times they are in, divorced, eating disorders, abortions, miscarriages, previous drug abuse, and others.
47. Hello I’m With- The bearer isn’t a member of the ward.
48. Early Onset Alzheimer’s- The bearer gets lost mid testimony and can’t remember where they were.

Feel free to add any of your own categories and tell us about them.


  1. ha ha ha ha. A friend and I actually did the same thing! Except there weren't as many squares. Some other ones we had were when the speaker uses the phrases "sunday school answers," "tender mercies," or "I don't know where I'd be.." And shout-outs to roommates.

    This is a fun exercise, but its important not to get too cynical. Just because they are cliche, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are not sincere.

    I love your titles.

    P.S. Don't you mean a 7x7 bingo grid?

  2. Cholesterol - Bearer mentions a pounding heart, usually the reason for getting up there.
    Marathon- A fifteen minute plus testimony.
    Awkward!- The bishop has to tug on the bearer's clothes to warn them to be done soon.
    Divine Intervention- Bishop stands up with the bearer at the pulpit to apologize, firmly tell them their time is up, or stabilize them for physical malfunctions.
    Ultra Uber Bonus Awesomeness- Space Pirates are mentioned from the pulpit. Happened at the last testimony meeting I was at. I mentioned them... twice!