Grandpa and his fungus

Hi, I'm Courtney and this is my first post here.  I tried to follow the word generator prompt. Hope you all like it.

My Grandfather is an odd man. One of oddest things about him, besides the open Hawaii shirts and Gandalf eyebrows, is his toe nails. For some reason foot hygiene has always ranked low on his list of priorities, and after all these years of neglect his toe nails have decided to spawn a new species.  Strangely enough he has decided that doctors would only make this new species angry which would probably lead to some hashed together Armageddon in which toe nail fungus rules the world and humans end up in zoos. To avoid that entire scenario Grandpa would rather let his toe nails colonize and procreate however they wish, thus saving the world from discombobulating. In this aspect my Grandfather is a silent hero and if his story was every adapted  into a movie I image it would do horrible in the box office. Then again horrible plots have done well in the past. I’m sure if the writers added a cute cow, pig, or some animal that snores into the film then they could stamp a G on it and market it to the kids too young to understand how disgusting foot fungus is.

                Besides his lack of foot hygiene, Grandpa has reached the age in which one starts to lose bits of the five senses here and there. The first to go was his hearing, and my grandfather of course did the most sensible thing and refused to buy a hearing aid. Instead he opted for denial. This is why our family conversations usually follow this pattern:

“Grandma what do you want to do today?”

“Well, since we’re on vacation lets go see a movie.”

“Ok. What do you guys want to see?”

“Pirates.”

“Oh, yeah, lets go see that.”

“Grandpa what do you want to go see? Grandpa?”

“Well, when I was in my twenties I got into this bar fight and I had to take on three guys at once. Luckily I had my army knife and I was able to—”  (something about World War 2, Berkley, liberals, trophies he may or may not have won, and substitute teaching).

Besides his hearing troubles Grandpa has started having problems with his eye sight. Unfortunately denial is once more his chosen medication. Seeing, however, is pretty important when driving and a dented parking meter, which had the misfortune to meet my Grandpa, can attest to that. Yet, despite all of his oddities and his ailments of age, my grandpa is truly without a doubt someone you should never get advice from. Unless of course you desire tips on growing foot fungus in which case I’ll give you his email: Imstill39@yahoo.com